Rebuilding takes time. Start anyway.
You can't undo the past, but you can be different starting now. Here's how people have done it before you.
Trust is rebuilt in small deposits.
Show up on time. Do what you said you'd do. Repeat for months. That's how trust works.
Manage your expectations — not theirs.
They don't owe you forgiveness on a schedule. Your job is to be steady whether they come around or not.
Repair, don't relitigate.
Apologize specifically. Don't explain why it 'wasn't that bad.' That undoes the apology.
Co-parent the kid, not the conflict.
Keep adult problems away from your child. Be reliable in the small things — pickups, calls, birthdays.
Go slow. Stay close.
Short, frequent, low-pressure contact beats grand gestures. A 5-minute call every week builds more than one big visit.
What to say when…
"I know I missed a lot. I'm not asking you to forget — I'm asking for a chance to show you who I'm becoming. We can go at your pace."
"You don't have to be okay with me yet. I love you. I'm here. When you're ready to talk, I'll listen — no excuses."
"You're right — that happened. I'm working on being different. I'd rather show you than argue about it. Can we talk about today?"
"That's on me. I'm not making an excuse. Here's what I'll do differently next time."
A note on patience
If someone in your family isn't ready to talk, that doesn't mean they never will be. Your steady, quiet consistency is the message. Keep being it.